She Always Knew When I Needed Her

A love letter to Lady — my faithful companion through every hard day of this chronic illness journey.

My process is always to write. And here I am again, trying to make sense of what I'm feeling… my heart is breaking into a million pieces. Yet I know — I know — you are in a better place, my dear Lady.

I still remember the day we found you. The pound. The cement floor, the iron gates. You were so frightened, the other dogs barking all around you. And then you looked at me — those big brown eyes, scared, pleading — and something in me just knew. We were there to rescue you. But honestly? You rescued us right back.

For seven and a half years, you were my shadow. My constant. You couldn't eat alone, couldn't bear to be in a room without me. When the boys were at school and Anthony was working, it was just you and me. On the days I was too weak to get up — and there were many of those days — you just stayed. Quietly. Right there beside me. Nudging me gently, as if to say: come on. Just a little. You can do it.

And I always did. Because I had you.

"You were always the first one to greet me when I came home from the hospital or a doctor's appointment — wagging your whole body, like my coming back was the best news in the world."

You knew, Lady. You always knew. When I was writing, you'd curl up on my feet — my little foot warmer, as Anthony called you. When I lay down in pain, you'd come and nudge your nose under my arm so you could be close. Every time I stopped stroking you, you'd nudge again. Or give me your paw. Just… asking for contact. Just making sure I wasn't alone.

I wasn't. Not once. Not ever. Because of you.

· · ·

The hardest part of the last year was watching you fight your own invisible battle. People would see you and say, "She looks fine." Oh, how I know those words. How many times have they been said about me? But the cancer was taking from you in ways that no one could see from the outside — and yet, you kept going. You had these surges of energy, these moments where you'd bounce back like your old self, and we'd laugh and cry all at once.

You were brave, my girl. You kept going — just to show us it was possible. And in doing so, you showed me the same thing, every single day.

Today, letting you go was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Choosing your peace over our grief. So many emotions, all muddled together, so many pieces of me broken open. I write this now without you curled at my feet, without the sound of your breathing beside me. The tears are flowing and I am letting them.

But I want your memory to live. I need to honour you. And this — these words — is how I know how to do that.

· · ·

So I choose to focus on the joy. The way you ran outside chasing rabbits like your life depended on it. The chaos whenever the postman arrived — you never did warm to him, did you? 😄 The way you wagged not just your tail but your whole body when we walked through the door. The way you were dainty and gentle and full of dignity, even on your hardest days.

You were a Lady. In every sense of the word.

Thank you for the unconditional love. Thank you for understanding me when I could barely understand myself. Thank you for fighting the good fight, and for being brave, and for always — always — staying by my side.

I love you, Lady. Now and forever. I will sorely miss you — and I look forward to seeing you again someday. Enjoy doggy heaven, my darling. This too shall pass. 🐾

With all my love,

Mi

PS: To you, reading this…

Before you go, I want to ask you something. And I genuinely want to know your answer.

Who — or what — has been your Lady? Who showed up quietly, without being asked, and just stayed beside you when everything felt too hard to carry alone?

Tell me in the comments or reply to this email. Whether it's a sentence or a whole story, I want to hear it. I promise I will read every word and reply. This community only grows when we are brave enough to share — and you sharing might be exactly what another woman needs to read today.

Let's hold each other up. That's what we're here for.

With so much love, God bless you. 💙